# less_retarded_wiki

main page, file list (652), source, commit RSS feed, report abuse, stats, random article, consoomer version

# Zoomer

Zoomers (also GenZ, zombie generation or technoslave) are weird aliens that started to be born instead of real people from around late 1990s, they come after millennials, the last generation of true people to have appeared on Earth. Zoomers are very scary, like slenderman from creepypasta, basically robotic entities born from normal people, no longer having real emotion or normal taste, ability to see what looks good or bad or what's nice and what's degenerated, they are just born to hold a cellphone and consume ads appearing on a display remotely controlled by corporations. One trouble with zoomers is also that regardless of where they're born, they're always american. Usually they look like said slenderman: two to three meters tall -- due to having grown up in 21st century and only dieting genetically modified chicken -- but extremely anorexic and wearing broccoli haircut, constantly looking down into the smartphone which the zoomer's organism needs to survive; without smartphone a zoomer falls into coma and dies within 24 hours. Zoomers are absolute slaves to technology (without knowing how it works), mental illnesses (of which they must have at least 10) as well as sexual confusion -- zoomer has no idea what gender or even species he is, he thinks he is a rabbit hermaphrodite or transsexual fluid or afroamerican jewish spiderman or something, it would just be weird for him to be a normal man or woman. He also thinks only about sex from the day he is born, he can't watch even a child fairytale without sexually analyzing every scene and painting rule 34 scenarios in his head, he has addiction to masturbation, porn, Internet, ads, food, ricing, TikTok videos and all in all just everything he comes in contact with. Zoomer chicks look like Jynx from Pokemon, practically just a walking ass with tiny head on top, they have trousers pulled up below armpits like Clint Eastwood, to showcase that gigantic ass (despite actually protesting sexualization of women). For some reason they also have ugly faces -- usually the youngest generation is also the prettiest, but this somehow doesn't hold for zoomers, perhaps due to general degradation of the gene pool.

          .,---._
          ;:   ..;.
          \,,,,, /
          (|o o _)
            \O /
             ||_
            /   ''.
           //^"||  \
          //   ||  |
         ||    //  |
         ||   //|  }          todaay we  are
        _||  //  ) }           __  learn/""\ing   t__o pro
       [[_]][ ) /  \          |  |   .-;, ,;-.  gr|  |am in
           /// |/\ |          |  | /(    .    )\ja|  |vascript
               || ||           "" V /'..' '..'\ \_/""
               || \\             \_/   _)  (_  \___/
               (| (|                .-'      '-.
               || ||               (    \(_/    )
               || ||                \   /  \   /
               || ||                 ) (    ) (
             __|| ||_              __( |    | )__
            [___| [__|            [_____)  (_____]

Zoomer and his girlfriend. It's not cubism, that's how zoomers look.

Like you tune a radio to specific stations, zoomer's brain is tuned on propaganda. He cannot live without consooming pixels from smartphone, so he has to eat Netflix, the poisoned adaptations of old works remade so that the characters are LGBT, black or otherwise crippled. He then accepts this as reality and says "acchuaelylly,,, the show isn't that bad. i only got stage 1 cancer from it". He then goes and starts making Netflix shows himself.

Zoomers are dangerous by no longer being people, they don't know what looks good or bad, they don't remember what good is because they never lived during times when good still existed, they think that modern things are the best we can achieve, it's pretty scary. Once older generations than zoomers die out, the world will be destroyed.

Contrary to past predictions stating the generation would be one of "technology natives" possessing unprecedented technological skills, absolute opposite turned out to be the case: zoomers are awfully terrible with technology and don't know basic shit about it. They are the first generation with worse technological skills than the preceding one (they are also less cool than millennials etc.). This is not their fault of course, they are a failure because they were so unlucky to be born into dystopian ultracapitalism that obscures technology and enforces consumption: hence the skills of a zoomer are limited to manipulating a device he is given so that he can use it for consumption of content. A zoomer cannot use computer mouse, pirate, he sometimes doesn't even know what a file is, he only thinks of "content in cloud" or "photos in an app", and we're not even talking about serious stuff like assembly programming -- this to him is rocket science. The highest skill a zoomer can have is probably ricing and distro hopping.

Zoomers also don't know what headphones are, they just walk and play music or videos at full volume, not giving a single fuck about the fact this is pissing off everyone around, a zoomer can't even comprehend anything so complex as empathy.

Fun fact: "Zoomer" was also the name of a creature in Metroid games, described as "not having a brain", just flying in staight lines.

Zoomers are victims of dystopian capitalism, it is not their fault they're dumb and miserable, we must love them like everyone else and perhaps even show our love that much more. Imagine being born and instead of a toy being handed a smartphone. Growing up bombarded daily by LGBT brainwashing, with parents so busy you hardly see them, classmates committing suicides, nothing but junk food to eat, no nature to play in, no computers to tinker with, only content consumption devices. 90s kids at least had a normal childhood and grew up looking at a bright future, zoomers only ever hear about different ways in which our society is fucked. They are poor living beings born to unfortunate circumstances and their lives are difficult. This is not to belittle the generation, it's to highlight their suffering; the next generation will be to them what they are to us now.

## See Also

- NPC
- furry

Powered by nothing. All content available under CC0 1.0 (public domain). Send comments and corrections to drummyfish at disroot dot org.